It's About Toys
by CupcakeCarol
Summary: Joe and Stephanie discover more about one another on their honeymoon, as they reveal some secrets and perhaps begin some new ones.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own any of JE's characters. This is a short interim story I've cooked up. If you haven't read "Time" and "Trust" first, you'll be completely confused, so go back and get caught up! For the rest of you, this story answers some questions and perhaps raises some new ones as well. Don't expect anything earth shattering, okay? After all it is only an interim! LOL

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><p>Chapter One<p>

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

"What the hell is that?" I mumbled against Joe's chest.

_BEEP! BEEP!_

"Joe."

_BEEP!_

"_Joe!"_

"Unh."

"What's that noise?"

"The alarm on my watch."

"For Christ's sake, make it stop."

Joe reached his arm out in the dark and began fumbling around on the nightstand.

_BEEP!_

"Morelli!"

"I'm trying. Give me a break already." He finally found the watch and turned off the offensive buzzing.

Burrowing deeper into his arms, I groaned softly. "Why the heck is your alarm set anyway? What time is it?"

"Seven."

"In the morning!"

"Mmmm. I promised I'd go down and make sure no one runs into problems checking out this morning." He sounded half-asleep again.

I'd completely forgotten our family and friends were still in Barbados! After the beautiful wedding night I'd shared with Joe, my mind wasn't capable of processing much of anything—especially not at friggin' seven o'clock in the morning.

"Oh." I didn't sound too enthused.

"You don't have to go down. I'll be back as fast as I can."

"Won't it look bad if I don't go with you to say good-bye?"

"Do you care?" His voice was still raspy from sleep. "It's our honeymoon, Steph. I don't think anyone's expecting much from us this next week."

"You're sure?"

"Positive." I could tell he was starting to wake up. His voice sounded more alert—not to mention a certain part of his body was beginning to harden against my arm lying across him.

He slid across me, covering my body with his own, and gave me a deep kiss. "Mmmmm...morning, Mrs. Morelli. I love you. Feeling okay?"

"Love you too. I feel amazing," I assured him with another kiss. "_Amazingly_ tired."

He dropped his forehead onto the tops of my breasts and sighed. "Me too. Let me get these people out of here, and then it's just us for seven whole days. I promise."

"Hurry." I kneaded my fingers over the tight muscles on his backside.

"Mmmm Hmmm." He went back to kissing me, his fingers cupping the underside of my breast.

"Joe."

"Right." He exhaled loudly. "Here I go."

He rolled out of bed, and I think I was asleep before his feet hit the floor.

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><p>When I awakened the second time, the sun was shining through the curtains, and Joe still wasn't beside me. Rolling over, I saw by the clock on the nightstand it was already almost eleven. <em>Where the heck was he?<em>

I heard the main door to the hotel room open and called out, "Joe?"

"Yeah, it's me," he answered disgustedly. Moments later he appeared in the doorway to the bedroom.

"Where've you been?" I sat up in the bed and held out my hand.

"You must not have seen my note. I came back up to tell you where I was going, but you were sleeping so soundly I decided not to bother waking you." He leaned over, picked up a sheet of hotel stationary from the nightstand and handed it to me.

_Cupcake,_

_My idiot brother got himself arrested last night. I'm on my way to post bail in hopes he can catch up with the others for the flight home. I'll be back as soon as I can._

_Love you,_

_Joe_

_P.S. Thank you for the best night of my life last night._

"Arrested!" My mouth was hanging open. "Which brother and for what?"

Joe lay down wearily on the bed beside me. "Tony—for drunk and disorderly, plus he tried to solicit a hooker."

"What the hell?"

"Evidently after the band quit playing last night, he and Paulie convinced everyone but our parents and the grandmothers to head down Second Street to some nightclub they'd found Friday night. Most everyone left around 1 a.m., but those two and Eddie."

_Eddie? _That surprised me. He knew the Morelli reputation as well as anyone else. I couldn't imagine him willingly bar-hopping with Joe's brothers.

Joe had his eyes closed. He looked utterly exhausted. "Eddie volunteered to stay with them to make sure they didn't get into any trouble." He gave a rather bitter-sounding laugh. "Not surprisingly, it found them anyway. Tony picked a fight with some guy over a girl he was trying to hook up with only to find out she _was_ a hooker and the other guy was a cop."

"Holy Shit," I breathed.

"It was shit alright. Thank God for Eddie. He spent the night at the police station trying to get the charges reduced. They finally dropped the solicitation charge but insisted on the drunk and disorderly. When I got down to the lobby this morning, everyone was in an uproar because no one had any idea where the three of them were. Shirley and my mother were practically beside themselves. Conversely, I think Angelina and Adrienne would've been relieved to go home without their husbands. Anyway, Paulie finally came in, still half-drunk, and explained the situation."

"What time was the flight back to Trenton?"

"Ten o'clock. I sent everyone else on to the airport, including Paulie. One of the valet guys showed me how to get to the police station here in Holetown. Through a hell of a lot of persuasion and outright begging of professional courtesy from one set of officers to another, Eddie and I were able to convince the police here to let us post bond plus pay the fine Tony would have received at his hearing. I had to drive them to Bridgetown, and I'm not exaggerating when I say they just made the flight home."

"I'm sorry." I really didn't know what else to say.

Joe shrugged a shoulder indifferently, but I could tell he was angry. "It's nothing new. I've done it a million times before for one or both of them."

It struck me that despite all of the years we'd been in and out of one another's lives, I didn't know much about Joe's family other than what I'd heard through Burg gossip, media attention or through my work as a bounty hunter. Joe himself had never talked to me about them other than to make pithy and derogatory remarks. He'd made every effort to shield me from them save for an occasional wedding reception or dinner at his mother's house. Even though I'd had opportunities to talk with his siblings, I didn't have a close relationship with any of them. As a result, I was becoming more and more curious about the secret workings of the Morelli family.

"I can hear your brain hard at work again," Joe gave a small smile, his eyes still closed. "You deserve to know more about my dysfunctional family, Steph, but can it wait just a little longer? I'm tired and thinking about it makes me too fucking angry right now."

"Of course it can wait." I crawled out from beneath the covers and began to tug off his shoes and socks. "Why don't you sleep for awhile? I'll get up and take a shower then maybe we can go get something to eat. I'm starved."

Reaching up, I began to unbutton his jeans. He stilled my fingers. "Better let me do it," he opened his eyes and gave me a sexy smile. "I'm tired but not dead. And you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." The words were there but fatigue was clearly winning the battle.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I'm sure I look just lovely this morning." I pushed at my hair awkwardly.

"Give me thirty minutes to recharge, and I'll show you just how beautiful I think you are." His eyes were already closed again.

I hopped off the bed and turned back to give a witty retort only to find him sound asleep—barefoot and fully clothed. His hair was hanging across his forehead while his long, dark lashes brushed against his high cheekbones. It almost seemed impossible to believe this gorgeous man was truly married to _me, _and I couldn't help but grin before making my way to the bathroom.

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><p>True to his word Joe awakened thirty minutes later completely invigorated and ready for love. His ability to get by on limited sleep and still function had always baffled me. I knew he was used to crazy hours from being a cop, but I was really hoping he'd give his body a chance to recover both physically and emotionally from the stress of the past several weeks.<p>

While my mind was ready to revisit the passion we'd shared the previous night, my body was famished. After making an unsuccessful attempt to get me to reconsider, Joe hurried through a quick shower and came back into the bedroom to find me packing up some of the articles from yesterday's ceremony. I was just picking up my sandals to put into the garment bag when the letter Grandma Mazur had given me fell onto the floor.

"What's that?" Joe asked curiously, pulling a red t-shirt over his head.

I flushed with embarrassment. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to know about the two letters I'd received yesterday or not—especially the one I'd written to him the night he took my virginity. But then I quickly berated myself. _Hadn't I already kept enough secrets from him? _I was convicted that honesty needed to be the cornerstone of our new marriage.

"It's a letter Grandma Mazur gave to me to carry as my "Something Old" yesterday." I surreptitiously pulled the letter from Ranger out of the other shoe and stood, putting both of them in the pocket of my shorts. "We haven't really had a chance to talk much about our individual experiences yesterday prior to the wedding."

Joe yanked on a pair of shorts and winked. "I know. I'm curious as heck about your trip to the spa. It must have been pretty wild if you were willing to get a tattoo."

"No crazier than anything else involving Connie, Lula and Mary Lou. What about you? How was the snorkeling adventure?"

The expression on his face immediately hardened. "There were good parts and bad."

"Care to share?" Taking his hand, I led him out onto the balcony. While he was showering I'd arranged for room service to bring up a luncheon spread for the two of us.

"Wow! What the heck's all this?"

I pushed him down onto the two-person wicker chaise lounge and lifted his legs so that he was stretched out. Sitting down beside him, I removed one of the domed lids to reveal a platter of fruits and cheeses. "This is me taking care of you for a change."

"You don't have to do this—"

"Did you ever think maybe I want to?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "You've done nothing but concentrate on me and everyone else around you for weeks now—at work, at home, here in Barbados. You're always putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own."

"Hardly," Joe shook his head, one corner of his mouth curled sardonically. "I'm incredibly selfish at times. You of all people should know that, or have you forgotten your first-hand experience?"

"What a perfect segue." I bit off half a grape and put the other half into his mouth, loving the way he kissed my fingertips in the process.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the two letters.

"Hey, they've multiplied," Joe said jokingly, a teasing grin on his face. "There was only one a minute ago."

"I had this one in my other shoe yesterday when I walked down the aisle."

Joe was clearly confused. He reached around me for a piece of cheese and gave me a bite before putting the rest in his mouth. "Is it common for a bride to walk down the aisle with paper in her shoes these days?"

"If you'll be quiet, I'll explain." I took a deep breath, realizing that no matter how good things were between us the letter was a tangible reminder of our painful past. "Grandma Mazur gave this to me. It was something I wrote a long time ago. I'd thrown it away at her house, but she rescued it from a wastebasket and held onto it for me until yesterday morning."

"What is it?"

I handed him the letter. With a perplexed glance, he opened it and began to read the hurtful words I'd written to him all of those years ago. I silently kept eating with one hand and used my other to massage Joe's leg while he absorbed the words.

When he finished, he tossed the letter aside and looked guiltily at me. "You see? This is the kind of selfish crap I'm talking about. I was such an asshole to you, Stephanie."

"Stop." I leaned in and quieted him with a gentle kiss. "I didn't show that to you as some kind of punishment. You asked me what the paper was in my shoe, so I'm sharing. I don't want any more secrets between us."

He ignored me. "It just pisses me off to know I was once exactly like my brothers. I hate having the curse of the Morelli name hanging over my head all the goddamn time." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes in frustration.

"Would you stop? I'll admit when I first read the letter, it brought back some painful memories, but now I look at it and see how far we've come. Neither one of us is the same person we were back when this was written. I want to celebrate—not condemn. It's the same with the other letter."

His eyes popped back open. "Who's that one from?"

I forced myself to look at him directly. "Ranger."

Joe leaned over and lifted off another dome to reveal a platter of antipasto. Taking his time, he selected a piece of meat and tried to sound indifferent. "When did you get it?"

"Tank came in right before the wedding and had me read it." I handed the letter to him. "I want you to read it too."

Joe shook his head. "It's okay; I don't need to. That's between the two of you."

"_You're _a part of me now too. Isn't that what you said last night? I want you to read it."

He unfolded the Rangeman letterhead and silently read the message from Ranger. When he'd finished and handed it back, I said, "Tank had Ranger on the phone after I read it yesterday. I was able to ask Ranger for forgiveness in leading him on when there was never really a chance I'd choose him over you. It was good, Joe. It gave me the closure _you _knew I needed even before I realized it. I ended up putting the note in my other shoe as a symbol of another closed chapter in my past."

Joe put his hand over mine. "I appreciate your sharing them both with me. Thanks for trusting me."

"You were right when you said everything changed last night. As crazy as it sounds, I feel like I'm finally at peace with myself. I want to be a good wife to you."

He pulled me sideways onto his lap. "You're already a good wife to me, Cupcake. Stop worrying. You've been the one constant in my life these past few weeks."

"But I still feel as though I have so much to make up to you."

"Nope. Remember the slate was wiped clean when we took our vows last night, okay?"

"Alright," I agreed, albeit a little reluctantly. It was hard to erase my guilt over past regrets, as I'm sure it was for Joe as well.

"About my brothers—"

"Do you really want to talk about them right now?" I asked, sensing he didn't.

"Hell no. I'd rather spend the first day of our honeymoon concentrating on my wife."

"Works for me. We have a whole week to talk. Right now I need food and sex in that order."

"How about at the same time?" he asked seductively, taking another grape from the tray and running it slowly across my lips before feeding it to me.

"Mmmmm…that could work too."

His eyes remained fixed on my mouth while I chewed. Tugging my tank top over my head and tossing it aside, he lowered his voice and said, "Maybe when we're finished here we could take a look through your grandma's goodie bag to see what else we can find."

"I've never known you to need toys to make me go wild, Morelli," my breathing was getting more ragged as he traced his finger along the edge of my lacy bra.

"Yes, but it's all new, remember? We're starting from scratch, and we _might_ just find something fun to play with." He reached for a green olive and started sucking the pimento out of it. An image of him sucking my clit in the exact same manner the night before flashed through my mind, and I wriggled on his lap. My panties were suddenly damp and uncomfortable, and I could feel Joe's erection pushing against the back of my thighs.

"Joe?"

He looked at me with a gleam in his eye. Damn him, he already knew what I was about to say.

"Yeah, Cupcake?"

I narrowed my eyes and unhooked the front clasp of my bar. "I'm not so hungry for food any longer."

"No?" He reached his hand out to encircle the weight of my breast. "That's funny; neither am I."

In less than a minute, we were both wearing a lot less clothing, and I was desperately trying to get him inside me. "Hurry!" I urged.

Joe slid further down on the chaise lounge and lifted me onto him, slipping his length into the warmth of my pussy. "Oh God...you feel good."

I began to move slowly, loving the feel of being outside in the seclusion of our private balcony. "You know I must really love you." I struggled to get the words out in the midst of the pleasure.

"How's that?" He was breathing faster now too.

"You're the only person in the world who can make me forget about food."

"Is that right?" He was gritting his teeth, as I increased the pace.

"Uh-huh. You keep this up, and I may actually go home weighing less than when I _came_."

"I think you should _come_ right now," Joe encouraged roughly. He reached between us and found my clit, stroking it assuredly with his fingers. "Go ahead and come for me, Stephanie. You know you want to. You're so beautiful—so perfect. Let me watch you fly."

I rode him harder, keeping my eyes locked with his. There were no more words; we were both so wrapped in sensation. I didn't want it to end, but my body was beginning to betray me. Joe sensed the change in my breathing and moved his hands to my hips, thrusting deeper and harder inside my clenching walls.

Soon I could feel my body beginning to peak. Linking our fingers at my waist, I moaned low in my throat as the pressure continued to build.

Joe was there too. His eyes drifted shut as he pushed us both relentlessly. Faster and faster we flew, until we both came in a united burst.

"Stephanie," I thought I heard him breathe, as my orgasm began to roll through me. I leaned over - his cock still buried inside me - and merged our tongues in a passionate kiss.

"Happy honeymoon," I finally uttered against his lips after taking several moments to recover.

"Seven days, Cupcake. Seven whole days of doing nothing but what we want."

I sighed contently. "I want lots of this, okay? And food. I _need _food, Joe."

He laughed. "Okay, we fed one appetite. Now I promise to feed the other." He reached between us to toy with one of my nipples. "But _then_, we're going to look in the bag of toys."

"Sex fiend," I grumbled half-heartedly.

"Lucky you."

"Yeah." I sighed again. "Lucky me."


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own any of JE's characters. Nice to see so many of you back for another round-and a few new faces as well. Welcome!

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><p>Chapter Two<p>

"Cupcake?"

"Hunh?"

"I know this sounds crazy, but I swear your hair's blown back."

I burst out laughing, sniggering like an idiot. We were laying in a tangle of arms and legs, following yet another round of enthusiastic lovemaking—this time with a little assistance by one of the vibrators in Grandma Mazur's bag of toys. We'd tried the one claiming the ability to blow a person's hair back, mostly because Joe had been cynical upon reading the box. While I wouldn't necessarily want to resort to using one all the time, I had to admit the device had inspired Morelli to new heights of creativity and had left me incapable of forming a coherent sentence.

It was Tuesday morning, and we'd already spent the better part of two days locked in the penthouse finding new ways to express ourselves both physically and emotionally. I kept waiting for us to get tired of sex or each other's presence, but neither had happened. Instead we seemed to be forging a new bond together—one that almost frightened me. For years I'd prided myself on being an independent, self-reliant woman. It was disconcerting how quickly I was depending on Joe's presence to make me feel whole. My only consolation was the knowledge he felt the same way.

"You're killing me," I panted, my body continuing to quiver with aftershocks.

Joe rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him so that my hair enveloped both our faces. Kissing me thoroughly, he gave a self-satisfied smile. "It's a hell of a way to go though."

I nodded my head before collapsing on his chest. Why the feel of his heartbeat pounding strong and steady against my ear would bring about such a sense of security was yet an unsolved mystery, but I did know I'd never felt happier.

"I'm hungry. What time is it?"

I could feel Joe lift his head momentarily to look at the clock. "A little after eight."

"Can we get breakfast?"

"Sure. You want to get dressed today and go down to the restaurant?"

"What, you mean you actually want to experience sunlight and fresh air?"

"The thought crossed my mind. Maybe we could explore a beach today too."

"The honeymoon's over," I sighed melodramatically, pretending to pout. "You've grown tired of me."

Joe ran his hands down my back and across my ass, giving the latter a pinch. "That couldn't happen in this lifetime, but even _I _need to recuperate once in awhile."

I forced myself to sit up, straddling his hips. "Okay, shower time. What about lunch?"

"I'll ask the restaurant to pack a lunch. Then we won't have to worry if we're in some remote location and you get hungry."

Rolling off the bed, I asked, "What should I wear?"

"Your string bikini."

"Nice try, Morelli."

"I'm serious. You've made me wait long enough. Just wear it and some shorts and a shirt."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine—one string bikini upon request." Walking bare-naked to the bathroom, I turned on the shower and stepped into the steamy heat as soon as the water hit the right temperature. No sooner had I reached for the bar of soap than the shower door opened and two strong arms encircled me from behind.

"Better watch it. My husband is a cop, and he doesn't like to share."

"You're damned right he doesn't." I could feel Joe's erection hard and insistent against my back.

"Jeez, Detective, didn't you just tell me you needed to recuperate?"

He slid his hand across my belly and down to the juncture of my thighs. "I do, but the sight of you walking across the room naked along with the thought of this gorgeous body in a string bikini was more than I could handle." His fingers began to work their magic.

My breath caught. "Did you ever think maybe _I_ need to recuperate."

His hand paused. "You want me to stop."

Tilting my head back, I slipped my tongue into his mouth and moaned. "What do you think?"

"I think I'm the luckiest man in the world. I'm insanely in love with you, Stephanie."

"And don't think I'm not thanking God every day for that astounding fact." Reaching behind me, I wrapped my hand around his engorged length. "I love you too."

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><p>Nearly three hours later found us searching for a parking spot at Crane Beach on the southern tip of the island.<p>

"It says in here this is one of the ten best beaches in the world." I indicated the guidebook in my hand.

Morelli gave me the wolf grin and leered over the tops of his Oakley's. "Cupcake, _any _beach with you on it has to be one of the best in the world."

"Spoken like a man who's had copious amounts of hot sex in the past two days."

"No, spoken like a man who's looking for _more _copious amounts of hot sex in the days ahead."

I snorted out a laugh, against my will, and slapped him with the book. "There's a spot up on the right, Romeo."

After parking, we gathered our towels, my tote and the lunch the resort had prepared for us, making our way across the beautiful, finely crushed coral beach sand to a secluded place to camp for the day. Surprisingly, the beach was nearly empty, yet one more benefit of honeymooning during the off-season.

Joe took a moment to scan the area and said, "I'll be right back."

Within minutes he returned lugging two boogie boards and two snorkel sets from one of the rental stands on the beach. Dropping it all at my feet, he kneeled beside me and pulled a bottle of suntan lotion from my bag. "Take off your shorts and top, and "I'll put this on for you."

I lowered my sunglasses in order to raise an eyebrow. "Firstly, what the hell do you intend to do with all that crap, and more importantly, who do you intend to do it with? Certainly not me."

"Don't be a wuss. It'll be fun."

"Fun is taking a nap in the sun."

Joe was obviously getting impatient with me to strip down to my suit, because he leaned over and tugged my tank top over my head. Had he not had sunglasses on I'm fairly certain I would have seen his eyes goggle. As it was his mouth dropped open and there may quite possibly have been a little drool running down his chin.

"Holy Shit." His voice definitely dropped a level or two and grew almost reverent. "Let me see the rest."

Feeling a little self-conscious, I did as he asked, slipping my shorts down my legs. He didn't say a word for several long moments. I was about to ask what he thought, when he rasped in a strained voice, "Swear to me you'll never wear that suit in public at home."

A slow smile spread across my face. "That bad?"

"Try again." He poured lotion into the palm of his hand and motioned for me to move between his legs. "It might be a little challenging to remain a cop if I have to kill someone for lusting after my wife."

"Glad you approve."

We took our time lathering one another with the oil to the point where I was wishing we'd stayed back at the resort. It would have been much easier for me to convince him to return to our room in order to finish what he'd started by touching me with those warm hands of his. I was scanning the beach, weighing my privacy options, when Joe grabbed my hand and heaved us both up.

"What?"

He picked up the boogie boards. "Let's play."

"But—"

"Don't tell me you're scared?" he baited, making the annoying chicken noises he knew I hated.

"I'm _not _scared. I've just never done it before."

"Come on—it's a piece of cake. Where's your sense of adventure, Morelli?"

I stared at him in stunned surprise. It was the first time he'd addressed me with the nickname I'd used on him for years. Even more shocking was the little thrill that shot through me upon hearing it. He grinned, reading my mind, and handed me one of the boards. "I'll teach you. Trust me, Steph. It's a blast."

Determined not to be a spoilsport, I followed him down to the water. It was incredibly warm, which helped much to improve my enthusiasm. Joe took my hand and led me out until we were waist-deep in waves. He then showed me how to position myself in order to catch a wave at just the right angle and ride it to shore. After he demonstrated a couple of times, I had to admit it looked like fun.

"Okay, okay. Leave me alone and let me try it by myself," I shooed him off with my hand when he had returned from yet another successful ride of his own. My competitive spirit had been stoked, and I was determined to prove I could match his ability.

Waiting until the perfect wave crested right behind me, I pushed off. The swell of the water propelled me forward like a cannon, and I shot across the surf toward the beach, shouting like a banshee. The adrenaline rush was unbelievable—that was until I moved a little off balance and flipped end over end onto the beach—the board flying off to God only knows where.

Joe was right behind me on his board and practically flipped as well in an effort to avoid crashing into me. "Are you okay?" he asked, trying his best not to laugh.

"Fine." I retorted. My pride wouldn't allow me to admit anything less. "I just need to make a few adjustments, and I'll have the hang of it."

"You might want to make a few other adjustments as well," Joe noted dryly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He pointed casually toward the front of me. "You're out."

"Out?"

"You know…" he waved his hand at my chest. "Out."

I looked down and saw the top to my suit had come undone, almost completely exposing my breasts. "Jesus!" Grabbing at the strings of the bikini now dangling at my sides, I glared up at my laughing husband. He let go of his own board and quickly tied me back in place, still snickering.

"Do you think anyone saw?" I asked, completely mortified.

"They should be so lucky," he smirked, then seeing my glare hastily added, "It's doubtful. Hardly anyone's here, but I'll run and grab my rash guard for you anyway."

Thirty minutes later we called a break to have lunch. I was starving after all the exercise and practically devoured two sandwiches before Joe had even eaten half of his. Who knew having fun could work up such an appetite? I was also ready for that nap in the sun I'd mentioned earlier. Depositing the rest of my uneaten lunch into the cooler the resort had provided, I scooted down on the blanket and closed my eyes.

Joe finished cleaning up and lay down beside me. "Think you might be up to snorkeling after a nap?" he asked hopefully. "The guy at the stand where I rented the equipment said there's a small reef a little further down this bay."

"Don't you think I've swallowed enough salt water for one day?"

"You did great, and you know it. But if you don't want to try, it's okay too."

I rolled onto my side and slid into his arms. "No, I want to try if you promise I won't drown."

"You'll love it. I promise."

"You once told me you used to get away every year to go diving. _And_ you chose the Navy too. What's your obsession with water? Were you like that as a kid too?"

I'd asked the question innocently and wasn't prepared for the way Joe's body stiffened beside me. Lifting my head, I looked down at his face, wishing I could see his eyes beneath the sunglasses. "What's wrong? What'd I say?"

He shook his head as if to clear it. "Nothing."

"Huh-uh. No more secrets between us. What gives?"

Joe exhaled loudly. "It's really nothing. You just made me think of something I haven't thought of in a long time."

I waited silently, hoping he'd share more with me. After several minutes, I'd about given up until he finally said. "When I was a kid, my dad would take our family once a summer to Point Pleasant for a long weekend. He wouldn't drink the whole time we were there and was decent to my mom and us kids. It was like the one time each year when he was almost human. I remember he would take me out in the water, and we'd swim for hours each day. Maybe subconsciously I associate water with the better part of my dad. Pretty weird, huh?"

"Not really."

We were silent for a moment. "Do you have any other good memories?" I asked hopefully.

"There were a few Christmases where he'd surprise us with some unexpected toy or a bicycle. Other than that he was mostly gone—either working or at the bar or the house of whatever woman he was hooked up with at the time."

"Did you miss him not having him around?"

Joe gave a bitter laugh and said emphatically. "No."

"Really?"

"Steph, my family is nothing like yours. We didn't sit around the dinner table and have meaningful conversations."

"When have you _ever _had a meaningful conversation at my parent's house?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"You may not say much of value, but there's no doubt you all love each other and would go to the ends of the earth for one another. I've always envied you for that."

It was true. My family drove me crazy at times, but there wasn't a one of them that wouldn't do anything to help me or love me. Joe's life as a kid was unfathomable to me.

"I've seen first-hand your devotion to your mom and siblings though," I responded. "Look at how you helped Tony a year or so ago when Angelina kicked him out of the house, and he came to live with you for a while. Remember?"

"When he got beat in the ass with the nail gun? Yeah, I remember." His voice sounded even more resentful. "That wasn't devotion. It was obligation."

"As I recall, you were somewhat of an enabler, waiting on him hand and foot while he trashed your house."

"You called me an enabler back then too," Joe smiled against the top of my head. "And you were right. After Angelina took him back, my relationship with Tony changed. I realized I had to stop feeling as though I was responsible for keeping my family somewhat intact. Being the youngest son and the last hope, my mom and Grandma Bella put a lot of pressure on me to be the one Morelli not to screw up."

"That's a lot of expectation to live up to."

"I had my share of screw-ups though, didn't I?" he said self-condemningly. "Maybe the pressure wasn't strong _enough_."

"What's Tony's deal, anyway?" I shifted the subject back to his eldest brother. "I don't know any of your siblings very well, but I do remember the incident with Angelina vividly, seeing as I was partially responsible for getting him nailed. I remember Tony as being more of a hapless jerk than anything else."

"He's a jerk all right."

"I'm serious. I recall Angelina saying he wasn't nearly as bad as your father. That he cheated, but he wasn't abusive."

"No, he would never be abusive." Joe's voice grew quiet.

I could sense there was something more. "What aren't you telling me?"

"My father was a wicked drunk, Stephanie. He had a terrible temper. Sound familiar?"

"I've never even seen you out-and-out drunk, Joe. I can't imagine you losing control like that."

"That's because I've worked hard to learn self-control as an adult. I've managed to maintain it in every area of my life too—except for when it comes to you and your safety. I haven't always handled my feelings there very well."

"In the past, Morelli." I reminded him gently.

"Anyway, as the oldest and most like my father, Tony ended up being the one who took the majority of his abuse—even more than my mom. He'd see my dad start to lose his cool with one of the rest of us, and invariably he'd find a way to shift the anger onto himself instead." Joe swallowed hard. "There isn't a spot from his upper legs to the middle of his back that isn't covered with scars inflicted by my father's belt. He refuses to take his shirt off in public—even when we went snorkeling on Saturday—because it looks so bad."

I knew every inch of Joe's body and there wasn't a single scar of that nature on him. "Only Tony?" I asked.

"Paulie a little bit, but no, mostly Tony. Like I said, as the oldest he worked hard to protect the rest of us, and it's the reason why he doesn't abuse. He knows the pain all too well."

"Thus the reason why you enabled him for so long. You felt guilty."

"Most likely. I'm sure a psychiatrist would have a field day with the inner workings of my family. The thing is after that event with Angelina, I _stopped_ enabling him. I figured he needed to take control of his own life for a change. But just the opposite happened. Since then, he's been spiraling deeper and deeper into the curse of my father. I still don't think he's an abuser, but he drinks too much and has a revolving door of women in and out of his life—more so than ever. Worse yet, he's got Paulie going down the same path with him."

"What about Angelina and Adrienne?"

"You saw how they were at the wedding. They're beyond pained and shamed. It kills me to watch them have to be humiliated like that." Joe suddenly turned on his side and pulled off both our sunglasses. His eyes were dark and intense as he looked into mine. "I know you've heard me bullshit a million times about how Morelli's never divorce, and for some insane reason they don't. But you have to swear to me, Stephanie, if I ever turn into something like that, you get your ass away from me as fast as you can."

"I wouldn't have to," I smiled at him confidently, my eyes gleaming. "Because I'd be kicking your ass all the way to divorce court."

Joe leaned over and kissed me fiercely. "That's my girl—just one of the million reasons why I'm crazy about you. You're tough." His eyes softened. "You know you don't have to worry about that though, right? I may do stupid things at times, but I'm not a fool. There's no other woman in this world that could tempt me away from you."

"There've been times in our past, I've questioned it," I admitted truthfully, "but mostly it was my own insecurity doing the questioning. I know you love me."

"_Only_ you," he repeated like a vow.

"Do you believe I only love you?" I returned the question hesitantly.

"There's not a doubt in my mind."

I felt the relief wash through me. It felt so good to know we were finally on the same page, looking forward to a future together instead of backward at our past regrets. I wasn't quite ready however to let this rare window of opportunity to learn more about Joe's family pass me by.

"So what happened when you went snorkeling Saturday morning? You said a couple of days ago it was both a good and bad experience."

Joe gave a snort of laughter. "Well the good was watching your father and Albert."

"How so?"

"Your dad was great. He's actually a good swimmer. It was fun watching him enjoy himself at something other than watching television."

"And Albert?"

"Christ, he looked like a Beluga Whale rolling through the water. His skin was all doughy and white, and he couldn't really do more than float because his weight made him too buoyant. Funniest damn thing I've ever seen." We both cracked up. "Eddie, Lenny, Tank and Mooch were fun too. It was cool exploring the reef."

"I guess I don't have to think too hard about the bad then, do I?"

"Nope. Tony brought a cooler with him, and he and Paulie spent most of the time on shore drinking. He was already pretty lit by the time we left to head back to the resort, and it only got worse the closer we got to the wedding. I'm still pissed at how he touched you after the ceremony."

"I can handle him."

'You shouldn't have to," Joe shook his head. "If he tries anything like that again, I'm not restraining myself."

"What I don't get is why he seemed so hell-bent on ruining things for you, especially after what you've done for him in the past."

"He's sick, Steph. I'm just beginning to realize how bad off he really is. He's twisted everything in his mind to where he feels as though our whole family owes him for what he endured as a kid. He's succeeded in pulling Paulie down the same destructive path, and he's angry because I'm not following suit."

"He's jealous of what you've achieved, isn't he?" I noted perceptively.

"Hell yes. It's been slowly building for years, but now that I have you, it's reached a peak. I try my damndest to stay away from my family as much as possible, but I just want you to be careful when you're around him and Paulie, okay?"

After the Kennard case, I was learning to trust Joe's intuition. "I will. What about your sisters? You hardly ever talk about them."

"We have no problems, but we're not exactly close either. I'm not entirely convinced there wasn't another form of abuse used on them by my father, but they've never said, and I haven't pushed too hard."

"Jesus."

"I told you we weren't the Brady Bunch."

"I wish I could have known all of this when we first got together. It might have made a difference."

"Maybe. I was still evolving myself when we met up again. I have issues too, Stephanie. I'm not perfect."

"Neither am I."

"It's why we're so abnormally good together."

"Yes, but what about our kids? Won't they be _extraordinarily abnormal?_" I tried for joking, but I was seriously scared.

Joe raised his eyebrows. "That's the first time I've ever heard you use the word kids _plural_."

_Good God, I had! What was I thinking? _"You know what I mean," I quickly interjected.

He rolled me onto my back and pinned me with his warm, hard body. "_Our children_ are going to be blessed with two parents who know how hard you have to fight for true love and who will do anything to make sure their kids are happy and well adjusted."

He covered my mouth with his and kissed away my worries. In fact, he was so convincing I was starting to think maybe we needed to go back to the resort and start practicing for those babies. That is until a little niggle in the back of my mind—more like a hard slap—had my eyes shooting wide open. _No!_ _No babies—not yet! _Breaking the kiss, I smiled up at him. "I thought you promised to teach me how to snorkel."

Joe ran kisses down the side of my neck. "I did, but this is an even better idea. Let's go back to the hotel."

"And miss out on my chance to see what's under the sea?"

Joe sat up and pulled me with him. "If you really want to see what's under the water, I should teach you how to dive."

"One step at a time, Morelli." I stood and grabbed the snorkel sets. "Let's go before I chicken out."

He stood beside me, putting his hand on my cheek, completely serious. "Thank you for listening. I'll do my best not to expose you to too much of the Morelli mess."

I shook my head. "You've been shielding me for too long now. I'm tough remember? So tough I'm going to master this snorkeling business on the first try. Now come on."

Grabbing his hand, we headed of down the beach toward the reef. No more thoughts of dysfunctional families and babies to cloud the day—just love.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own any of JE's characters.

I need to thank Julie for taking the time to Beta read this chapter. I sure appreciate your help!

* * *

><p>Chapter Three<p>

"Shall I list all the reasons why this is not a good idea?"

"You'll be fine. Did I steer you wrong yesterday?"

"Yesterday was different. You didn't want to strap a six pound air tank on my back and submerge me underwater."

It was early Wednesday afternoon, and Joe and I were standing in the parking lot of the Barbados Blue Dive Center just outside the Carlisle Bay Marine Park. Earlier that morning I'd allowed him to talk me into SCUBA diving while in the midst of another Morelli-induced orgasm. This one had involved his tongue—lots of it, and I probably would've agreed to _anything_ the moment he was licking _that _particular spot.

"Damn you and that Lizard-like tongue of yours," I grumbled, my arms folded crossly.

"Lizard-like tongue." Joe repeated, looking at me strangely. "What the hell are you talking about?"

_GRRR! _"Never mind. You swear I won't die from this?"

"I swear. Now come on already." He took my hand rather forcefully, probably in fear I would bolt, and led me into the dive shop.

There were already several people milling about, looking at equipment and signing up for either the beginner's class or one of the dives out in the bay. While we waited patiently in line, I looked around the room at all the tanks and gauges and masks _and_ fins _and_ wet suits—_AND_ decided SCUBA diving was _not_ for me. I was tired. I needed a nap. I also needed a candy bar.

There was no way I was going to put on all of that crap and go under water. What if the air tank failed? What if I got tired while swimming and drowned? What if a shark attacked me? I'd just started my life with Joe. I couldn't leave him a widower after only four days of marriage! I turned to tell him to forget the whole crazy notion when it was our turn at the counter.

A gorgeous, young American woman, wearing a pair of blue jean shorts and a company t-shirt molded to her pert, young breasts, greeted us with an enthusiastic smile. "Welcome to Barbados Blue. Ready for an adventure?"

Before I could respond, Joe gave her the Morelli grin and said, "Yeah. We'd like to do the two o'clock dive. My wife's never done SCUBA though, so she'll need the training class first."

"No problem," she chirped, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder. She pulled out a brochure with all of the information. "Our beginner class starts at twelve-thirty. We conduct it in the pool at the Hilton Resort right here behind the Center." Giving Joe an appraising scan, her eyes lit up even further. "I take it you've dived before?"

_Good grief! _Could we not go _anywhere _without women fawning all over my man? I was feeling edgy and increasingly cranky. I _definitely_ needed a Snickers bar.

"I have. My certifications are all current."

"_Terrific_! You're going to _love_ this dive. You get to see a couple of shipwrecks and _everything_!"

Her perkiness was annoying me. "_Terrific_!" I gushed back, and Joe discreetly stepped on my foot.

Vivacious Vivian didn't even seem to notice my sarcasm such was her captivation with Joe. "You'll both need to complete these forms, and then we'll get you fitted for the proper equipment. Oh _gosh_, I almost forgot! You'll need to look these waivers over and sign them as well."

I cleared my throat uneasily. "Waivers?"

"Oh sure. You know—for all the potential things that could go wrong and stuff—" She must have seen the look of abject horror that crossed my face, because she hastily added, "_Not _that it happens very often of course."

"Of course."

Joe put his arm around my shoulder and spoke softly in my ear. "Relax, Steph. I wouldn't let either one of us do it if it wasn't safe. You know that, right?"

Swallowing hard, I nodded. "Sure."

"Shit," he muttered suddenly. "I left the camera you gave me in the car. I'm going to run and get it while you start filling out the forms. I don't want to miss any shots of you in the class."

"Right." I answered apathetically. Apparently, I'd lost my ability to speak in words of more than one syllable.

No sooner had Joe walked out the door than Lively Lola thrust yet another form at me. "Here's a list of our precautions. You should read those too."

"Precautions?"

"Sure. You know—reasons why you shouldn't dive—like having asthma or diabetes or if you have cancer or are pregnant. Things like that." She looked at me with unexpected intensity. "You're not pregnant are you? Because that would be _really _bad—even if it's only in the early stages."

"No! No, of course I'm not pregnant," I brushed her off with a slight laugh, yet my heart started a slow, deliberate thud in the middle of my chest. Yesterday's niggling feeling in my brain was back. What wasn't I acknowledging? Then it dawned on me—I hadn't even _thought _about my period in weeks. An innocent comment had become a slap in the face, and I went pale.

"Are you okay?" She looked at me in revulsion, her eyes wide and frightened. "You look like you're either going to pass out or hurl. You're _not_ going to hurl are you?" She reached frantically beneath the counter for a wastebasket.

"No," I responded weakly, clutching the counter in a death grip. "I just need to sit down for a moment. I scooped up all of the forms and found a bench on the side of the room. Setting everything next to me, I dropped my head between my knees, trying not to hyperventilate.

_Shit! Shit! Shit! _I couldn't believe it. When was the last time I'd had a fucking period? I didn't even know. My life had been in a constant state of turmoil since Hawaii. Between Razzle Dazzle and the envelope, Joe's ultimatum, the Kennard Case, the engagement, the elopement and now the honeymoon, I hadn't had a single moment to stop and think—let alone recognize the fact I hadn't menstruated.

And then it hit me—Oh. My. God—I hadn't had it since sometime before Hawaii! Where was that wastebasket?

_Calm down! _Okay, there was no way I could be pregnant. I'd used precautions all along—sort of. Plus I wasn't even sure when I'd had a period _before_ Hawaii. My cycle had been irregular my entire life, and stress played a huge factor. STRESS! That was it. I'd been incredibly stressed about the situation with Joe and Ranger along with all of the other issues we'd faced in the past several weeks. It made perfect sense why I'd be late getting a period. I just needed to settle down and think rationally—a difficult thing to do when faced with the prospect of being submerged beneath an ocean of water.

"I haven't thought to tell you how much I love this camera. It worked great when I went snorkeling the morning of the wed—" Joe was back, and his voice trailed off as he approached me. Evidently he'd discovered my head-between-the-knees position. "Steph, you okay?"

My heart actually ached. I'd sworn to myself I wouldn't keep secrets from Joe any longer, and we'd been building a real sense of trust between us the past couple of weeks, especially during our honeymoon. But there was _no way_ I could share with him the fear paralyzing me—at least not until I'd had a chance to think.

He sat down and wrapped his arm around me, putting his head down next to my knees. "Cupcake, are you really that scared?"

_Yes! _Just not necessarily about SCUBA diving any longer. "I'm okay," I replied, trying for a confident sound to my voice.

"Hey, it's okay if we don't do this. I was talking to a guy in the parking lot a minute ago. He was telling me about a submarine in Bridgetown Harbor that takes people out to look at the reef and a sunken shipwreck. It's safe and air-conditioned, plus you don't have to get wet."

I sat up slowly.

"Jesus! Your face is white as a sheet," he started looking around the dive center. "Let me find you some water."

"I'm okay," I said in a stronger voice. "You're right, I _am_ nervous about diving." _This was partially true. _"The submarine sounds fun, but I'll only do it if you go on _this_ dive first."

"Not necessary," Joe shook his head. "I've been plenty of times already. I'd rather be with you."

"But you don't get the chance to go very often, and you know it." I looked at him directly for the first time and forced a smile. "I'll be fine. I'm just feeling a little tired. I'll go down to the beach and take a nap in the sun while you dive, and then we'll head over to Bridgetown to do the submarine trip. Okay?" I could see the conflicting emotion in his eyes. "Joe—seriously—I'm fine. I _want _you to do this."

"If you're sure," he said, both wistfully and reluctantly. "It _would_ be great to dive again."

"Absolutely. Take lots of pictures to share with me, alright?"

"Okay," He finally agreed. "I'll go tell the girl at the counter." He handed me the rental car keys and started to rise. Out of the blue, I grabbed his arm and held him in place next to me. Looking intently into those beautiful chocolate eyes I knew so well, I said, "You _do _know how much I love you, right?"

One corner of his mouth curled as he responded lightly. "Yeah. I love you too, Cup—"

"I'm serious. There is _nothing _in this world more important to me than you." Putting my hand on the back of his neck, I plastered my lips against his and gave him a kiss better suited for the bedroom than a public lobby.

When I pulled back, he was both stunned and pleased, his eyes indicating his desire. "I feel the same way." His voice sounded much different as he placed his hand on my thigh. "Maybe we should just go back to the resort."

I stood quickly. "Nope. I'll meet you back here in a few hours." I leaned down and brushed his lips one last time. "Have fun."

Moving swiftly, I headed for the door and the fresh air I knew awaited me. I needed candy, a nap and a clear conscience—and not necessarily in that order!

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes, two Snickers, two Kit Kats and an Almond Joy later, I was laying on the beach feeling seriously OD'd on chocolate and no less terrified of my newly discovered "lack of a period" status. The little pocket calendar from my bag was in front of my face, and I was frantically trying to remember the last time I'd menstruated.<p>

Working backward, I counted off the weeks. No period during honeymoon week. Nothing the week Joe proposed up until the wedding. The two weeks prior were post Kennard case, and I was living at Joe's—nothing. Before that was ultimatum week/Kennard case—zip. _Yikes. _The week before _that _was the ruckus over the photo and Razzle Dazzle. Again nothing. Before that was Hawaii—and before THAT was—_omigod_—

Vordo week.

_Fuck! _I couldn't breathe. Thinking back, I recalled having had my period two weeks prior to Joe's Grandma Bella putting a curse on me, which meant Vordo week would have been the last time I'd ovulated. In fact, I clearly remembered having a conversation with Joe outside the former Bonds Office. I'd had an enormous pimple on my forehead—again from his evil grandmother—and he'd asked me if it was that time of the month. I'd denied it, and he'd answered "Good to know."

What _wasn't _good to know _or_ remember was the fact I'd had sex _four_ times that one week—twice with Joe and twice with Ranger. Quickly tabulating, it hit me—seven weeks. Forty-nine friggin' days since my week of sexual escapades—and no period! _NOT_ good.

_Get a grip, Stephanie! _I'd used precautions, right? I'd gone on the pill not long after Joe and I got back together three years ago. I'd even had pregnancy scares in the past thanks to my irregular cycles. And Vordo week had _definitely _been stressful—not just because of my uncertainty regarding Ranger and Joe, but also because of crazy Dave stalking me; worry over whether Kenny Alpha was trying to kill me, plus all of the murders that took place. It was entirely possible I could have skipped a pill or two. I honestly couldn't remember.

Ranger and I _had_ used condoms in Hawaii—I was certain about that. I'd been fully expecting my period, and when it didn't come, I'd figured better safe than sorry, so I'd forced Ranger to suit up. He'd been okay with it the first time, but then wasn't too happy with me, seeing as he liked the natural feeling. But then we'd purchased a big box of the nice, ribbed ones, and we'd both gotten _really _happy—all week long.

Post Hawaii I did it with Ranger in the closet of Joyce's condo. Again, he'd used a condom. Joe and I had sex twice more as well—with no condoms. He assumed I was on the pill, and I'd done nothing to clue him in otherwise. I'd been so thankful he was still speaking to me after the Hawaii Fiasco I would have let him do anything. Then the shit hit the fan with his ultimatum, the mess with Kennard, etc. From that point on, I hadn't even given possible pregnancy a single thought.

_STOP! You are NOT pregnant! _It became my Mantra as I closed my eyes against both the sun and my fears. Other than feeling ill from too much candy, I felt incredibly healthy—absolutely zero signs of pregnancy. _There! _I felt better already. I'd simply been incredibly stressed and, as a result, was prone to irregular cycles—_period_—full stop.

_Aargh! Period! _Somehow I needed to get myself under control until we returned to Trenton, and I could figure everything out. I didn't want to waste one precious moment of my honeymoon worrying about something that in all likelihood would once again prove to be a false alarm. At home, our life would return to normal. I'd get my period, and somewhere down the road—a LONG way—Joe and I would consider having a baby.

There.

I'd done it. I'd successfully convinced myself I was having an anxiety attack over nothing. It never ceased to amaze me how quickly I could shove things into the back of my mind to worry about another day. I'd done it for years regarding Ranger and Joe. Some people would probably call it denial, but I chose to consider it "selective recall".

Whatever it was I'd managed to eat candy and clear my conscience. It was time for the third part of my plan—a nap.

* * *

><p>When I returned to the dive center a few hours later, it was to find Joe slouched on the bench outside looking at the pictures on his camera. Just the sight of his gorgeous body, all muscular and deeply tanned, had me primed and powerless to move. My heart filled not only with love, but with an all-consuming desire to make him happy—to not let a single day go by without showing him how thankful I was he'd forgiven me. My throat clogged with emotion, and I was incapable of doing anything but stare at him.<p>

As usual, he sensed my presence and lifted his head. His eyes were hidden beneath his Oakley's, but a huge grin enveloped his face upon seeing me. "Hey, Cupcake. How was the nap?"

I couldn't even respond. I simply took his hand and pulled him off the bench. Purposefully I led him toward the convertible and handed him the keys. "What's up?" he asked, concern replacing the grin. "Why aren't you talking?"

Taking a quick look around me, I placed my hand provocatively over his groin and whispered, "Just get in the car and drive."

"What are you up to?" he asked, his voice low and husky. He looked thoroughly confused.

I merely raised an eyebrow, turned and slid into the passenger side of the car. As soon as Joe climbed into the driver's seat, I took off both of our sunglasses and said, "You might want to raise the top and the windows."

He still seemed confused but complied with my command. No sooner had we left the parking lot than my hand was back in his lap, tracing lazy circles over where I knew the head of his penis to be. In less than fifteen seconds, the entire front of his shorts was rock hard. He cleared his throat uncertainly. "What's gotten into you?"

"Stop talking," I suggested. Leaning over the low center console, I slowly unfastened the button of his shorts and lowered the zipper. I peeled back his briefs, and his swollen cock burst free of the constraint. I couldn't stop a little "Mmmmm" from leaving my mouth, as I licked the tip of my finger and ran it across the slit on top.

Joe shifted uncomfortably. "I'm driving on the wrong side of the road in a foreign country. Much as I'd love it, maybe this isn't the best idea. Let's go back to the hotel."

"Shut up and drive. I'm not waiting." I couldn't. I was like a woman possessed with the need to show him how much I loved and desired only him. There was no past anymore—only our future. Quickly yanking my t-shirt over my head to reveal my skimpy bathing suit top, I bent over and replaced my finger with the tip of my tongue, running it slowly along the same line.

"Steph," Joe inhaled sharply.

My mouth never left him, while my hands fumbled with my bag on the floor near my feet. After a quick blind search, I felt what I was searching for—a carton of strong mints I'd found in Grandma Mazur's treasure trove of toys.

"What's that?" his voice was strained as he tried to keep his eyes on the roadway.

"Mints. They're supposed to heighten the feeling."

Joe choked out a laugh. "I don't think that's possible.

Tossing a few into my mouth, I ran my lips down the entire length of his erection to the base. The car immediately swerved, and Joe swore again. "Christ, you're going to kill us both." He said it through gritted teeth, but I could tell he was beyond aroused.

Soon his hand was on the back of my neck, lightly massaging the skin. I had no idea if the mints were increasing his pleasure or not, but they weren't doing a doggone thing for me. I loved the smell and taste of Joe, and this mint flavor was taking away from both. On the plus side, I was totally turned on by how much I was causing him to lose control—something he rarely did.

The thought was so exciting I instinctively began to pick up the pace.

"Oh God," he moaned. Thirty seconds later, the car swerved again, and Joe stopped and threw the gear into park. I had no idea where we were, nor did I care. I'd found my rhythm and was too busy paying homage to my husband's strength.

He eased the driver's seat backward slightly and gave into the feeling, running his fingers through my hair and groaning. "Feels so good." His breathing was ragged. I glanced up out of the corner of my eyes to find him staring down at me—completely enraptured. "You're beautiful—and so sexy. I love you so much, Stephanie."

I didn't want to stop. The power I had over him in that moment was indescribably erotic—equally as intense as having an orgasm of my own.

He untied the top of my suit and allowed his hands to find my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers. "Do—you—want to—get on?" he panted.

I shook my head, never breaking my pace. The control I had over him in that moment was addictive, and there was no way I was losing it, despite the fact my body was looking for a release as well. Faster and faster I flew, until Joe's body went rigid, and he moaned low in his throat.

"Oh God, it feels so good, Steph. You turn me on so much. You're going to make me—Uunnn—"

He came in an intense burst, and I gladly accepted all he gave. This incredible man loved me, and there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to ensure my past choices didn't ruin our future.

I slid upward and kissed a thoroughly sated Joe. In fact, I think I'd destroyed him. Moving to his ear, I whispered, "I love you."

He turned his head and captured my gaze. "I love you too." Cupping my breast with his hand, he added dazedly, "What in the hell _was _that anyway—not that I'm complaining."

"I told you on our wedding night—sometimes I just see you or think about you, and I'm overcome by the need to have you."

"Lucky me," he smiled, and then moved his hand downward. "How about if I return the pleasure?"

There was a time when Joe Morelli would have been happy not to have to reciprocate a sexual favor. Heck—I'd been the same way. Wanting to share and be a part of something greater than just "getting off" was one more indication of how far we'd both come. Half of our own pleasure came from making sure the other was feeling the same thing.

Unfortunately, I was becoming too aware of our surroundings. Joe had whipped the car into the parking lot of an empty scenic overlook along the roadway. Cars were still moving along behind us, and our privacy could easily be interrupted at any time.

Reaching for the top of my suit, I answered. "I'm good for now. Let's get to Bridgetown. I don't want to miss the submarine. How was the dive?"

Joe rearranged his clothing as well. "Amazing. I wish I could have shared it with you."

I wrinkled my nose. "Yeah, sorry I freaked out earlier. I _will _go with you one day, I promise." Flipping down the mirror on the visor, I added, "Just one more reason to plan another trip sometime."

He ran a finger across my cheek. "You're sure that's all it was, right? You're not upset about anything else?"

The brain niggle was back, but I firmly pushed it aside. "I'm fine. I simply needed a nap, and now I'm good to go."

"Then let's go." Joe agreed, starting the car. Before he put it into reverse, he leaned over the console and kissed me. "I think I forgot to say thank you."

"My pleasure."

"Speaking of which—just so you know the mints added nothing. It's _you_ that enhances the pleasure."

I rolled my eyes. "If you're looking to get lucky again, you stand a pretty good chance."

"I hope so. We still have two days, three nights and a hell of a lot more toys to discover in the bag."

"Thank you, Grandma Mazur!" I quipped, and we both laughed as we headed off toward our next adventure.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own any of JE's characters.

* * *

><p>Chapter Four<p>

"I think I have the 'end-of-vacation' blues."

"Me too," I agreed listlessly.

It was Friday evening—the conclusion of our honeymoon—and once again we were lying on the beach in the same chaise lounge as the first night of our trip eight days ago. I couldn't get over how quickly time had flown. We'd spent all day Thursday in northern Barbados, exploring as many attractions as could be fit into our schedule, while today had been a final lazy day at the resort. Sadly, both of us were becoming increasingly subdued with the realization we'd be leaving the following morning.

"It's been the best honeymoon imaginable," I spoke softly, tilting my head to kiss Joe's jaw line. "Thanks for everything you did to make it happen."

"I didn't do much other than write a big check, and even then it wasn't my money that paid for it."

"Hmmm…modesty—something new from you." I couldn't resist teasing him. "I still say you should talk with Marina about becoming her partner. You're awfully good at this wedding business."

"Tempting, but I guess I'll stick with detective work. I need to keep my skills up if I'm going to be able to figure out how to keep you happy for the next fifty years."

"Only fifty?"

"Hell," Joe grumbled in my ears, "as stressful and dangerous as both of our jobs are, I'll be happy if we _live _fifty more years."

"Now there's a cheery thought."

"Sorry."

"What're you going to miss most about Barbados?" I shifted the subject—all the while running my fingers in lazy circles over the arms and hands surrounding my waist.

Without hesitation he answered, "Being alone with you without any stress or distractions."

"Really?"

"Sure. When we go back, we'll both be returning to the stress of jobs and families—and all the crap that goes along with them. Don't get me wrong—I love both things, but I've _really_ loved having you all to myself like this."

I nodded my head in agreement. "But on the plus side, from now on when we go home at night it'll always be to one another. No more games or uncertainty—just love."

"And sex," Joe asserted quickly with that wicked smile of his. "Don't think because you finally managed to get me to put a ring on your finger means we don't have to have sex anymore."

"_Excuse_ _me_, who managed to put a ring on _whose_ finger?"

"Cupcake, face it. You've been chasing after me for years."

A snorted out a laugh. "Now _that's_ my husband—the most arrogant man in Trenton—heck, probably all of Jersey."

"I'm simply stating the facts as I see them," he managed to say with a straight face.

"Of course," I agreed sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "So exactly how much sex are we talking—once, maybe twice a week?"

It was Joe's turn to snort. "Yeah right. More like twice a _night_."

Somehow I managed to maneuver my body around, so we were facing one another, my legs hooked over his thighs and dangling off the chaise. "A night, huh?" Running my tongue along my lips, I lowered my voice. "Think you can _really_ handle all I have to offer twice a night, big boy?"

The corner of Joe's mouth rose, and his eyes softened. "I'll take vitamins."

We grinned at each other, and then my face turned serious. "Speaking of jobs, are you ready to return to yours?"

He thought about it. "Yeah. I feel pretty good overall—recharged and far less angry. I won't lie to you though. Going back is going to be tough on both of us at first."

"Why's that?"

"I've been on vacation for two weeks, and I haven't even been on the street in over a month now. The catch-up factor will be huge regarding caseloads, assignments and staffing. I'm sure Rogers has held off hiring any more cops—at least for Vice and Homicide. Since I'll be heading up those areas, he'll likely want me in on the interviews. I think it's safe to expect you won't be seeing a whole hell of a lot of me at first."

I'd been in one form of relationship or another with Joe for years. I knew the crazy hours he kept as a detective, and I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to marry a cop. Unfortunately, I _hadn't_ given a thought to what his job would mean to our fledgling marriage. After having spent the past week in almost complete isolation together, I wasn't looking forward to the transition back to reality.

"What about you?" he turned the question around. "Are you anxious to get back to work?"

I was quiet a long time, realizing I hadn't thought about my job seriously since the Kennard case closed, and I'd moved in with Joe. I'd worked for a couple of weeks sporadically, but I hadn't been nearly as focused—more than likely because I hadn't needed the money as badly as when I was on my own.

"I miss Connie and Lula," I qualified hesitantly.

Joy eyed me carefully. "I sense a "but" in that statement. What's the problem?"

"No problem." I blew out a breath of air and thought some more. "I don't know—it's weird. Now that I've made the decision to stop hunting high-profile and dangerous FTA's, my heart really isn't into the work like it used to be."

I could sense Joe's hackles rising. "I didn't ask you to stop pursuing dangerous skips, Stephanie—"

"I know. I know. It was totally my choice."

"One that can easily be rectified. Isn't that what I did regarding my job?"

"This is different." I struggled to express my feelings. "At first I took the job with Vinnie because I was desperate, and it was a new challenge. Truthfully though, the biggest reason I stayed with bounty hunting was because of you."

"Oh _really_," Joe drawled. "How do you figure that?"

"It was a way to ensure our paths crossed frequently. Even through my confusion and fear regarding my feelings for you, I was continually drawn to you like a moth entranced by a flame."

He looked pleased by my confession. Tickling me in the ribs, he added, "So go back to taking the high profile skips, and we'll run into each another some more. It'll be fun."

I shook my head and pushed his hands away. "You don't understand. Now that I know I have you forever, I'm not certain it's really what I want to do at all."

Joe's eyebrows were clear up into his hairline. I don't think I could have shocked him more.

"I can't believe you just said that," he remarked dumbfounded. "You're the 'Bombshell Bounty Hunter'." He laughed when I gave him a dirty look. "Are you sure you're not under some misguided notion I want you to quit? Because I promise you it isn't how I feel."

"No, it's all on me. I'm not saying I want to quit working. I like being busy and out in the world, but maybe just not skip tracing." I ran a hand through my tropical-frizzy hair. "Like I said—I don't know. I'm probably having a mid-life crisis or something."

"Don't you think you're a little young for a mid-life crisis?" he asked, trying not to laugh.

"_You_ had one a few weeks ago. For God' sake, you had us contemplating a move to Bora Bora, remember?"

"Hunh…as I recall, that was _your _suggestion, but you're right. It's natural to question your goals once in awhile. What else would you want to do?"

"I haven't a clue."

Joe eased his fingers around my shoulders and drew me down so my head lay against his chest. "The good news is you don't have to decide tonight or next week or even this year. All I care about is your happiness."

"If I get much happier after the week we've had, I'll be a puddle of liquefied sex."

"We can only dream of having such good fortune, Cupcake," he joked in a seductive voice against my ear.

We lay there quietly for a while. The sun had long since gone beneath the horizon and complete darkness was rapidly approaching. Neither of us seemed in a hurry to return to our room. After having spent years of communicating via sexual bantering or discussions regarding our jobs, we'd discovered how to verbally connect in a way that left us both feeling fulfilled and constantly craving more.

I finally broke the silence by asking, "Not to bring you down further, but give me a heads up on what I should expect from Tony, Paul and the rest of your family when we get back."

Joe's body predictably went rigid, but he kept his voice even as he answered indifferently. "I'm not sure. I'll probably wait to see what happens when they show their faces around me again and take it from there. Not much else I can do. I'll be busy with too much else as it is."

"Yes, like sex—or at least so I've been told," I said sassily.

"Well sure," he retorted. "I've got to get a lot of it in while the getting's good."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'd imagine you're going to have a period here pretty soon, and I'll be deprived for at least a few days, right?"

My heart literally stopped beating for a moment. It took everything in me to remain relaxed against Joe's body as terror once again rolled through my system. I'd done an excellent job of pushing my pregnancy fears to the back of my brain since Wednesday afternoon's 'Vordo Week' discovery, and Joe's innocent observation had brought it all to the forefront again. Was it wrong for me to be praying like crazy he was right, and it would come soon? _Like right_ _THEN would be especially okay!_

"Right," I responded weakly, not trusting my voice to say any more. Thankfully Joe had already moved on to the next topic.

"Did you get a chance to talk with Lula about taking your apartment?"

"Mmmm hmmmm—during our spa treatment. She thinks she'll be bunking with Tank again soon, but she'll let me know for sure on Monday. I guess I'll just have to let the lease go and pay the penalty."

"We should probably make plans to move everything out of there next weekend then."

"Okay." I was feeling more and more depressed the longer we sat there. I _really_ didn't want to go home and face reality.

"I'm kind of scared to go home." _Had I just said that out loud?_

"Of what?"

Against my will, I started tearing up. _Good grief—why was I so emotional_? "Losing what we've built this week." My voice choked. "I love you so much, Joe. I don't ever want to lose what we have."

His arms locked me more securely within his embrace. "We're not going to lose _anything_. No matter what, I will _always _love you, Stephanie."

"Yes, but what if you get home and realize you've made a horrible mistake by marrying me."

He pushed me back slightly and took in my tear-streaked face. "What's with the tears and the doubt, Cupcake? Jeez, when have you ever known me to make a mistake about anything?"

I couldn't help but smile at his attempt to be cocky-Joe again, so I played along through my sniffles. "Never."

"Exactly." He grew quieter, and then asked with an edge to his voice, "Are you sure this isn't about _you_ worrying _you've_ made a mistake? Seeing Ranger again might be awfully difficult."

"No!" I lifted my head and looked at him seriously. "Don't believe it for a minute. I haven't even _thought_ about him since our phone conversation before the wedding ceremony."

Joe shrugged. "Then what's the big deal? You and I are still the same two people no matter where we happen to be. Location won't change anything."

It was a nice sentiment, but I knew for a fact it wasn't true. Once we returned to the Burg, my lifelong insecurities, fears and frustrations would return with a vengeance—especially as it pertained to my mother and Mrs. Morelli. While Joe may not have pre-conceived expectations of me needing to be a good housewife, I knew the mothers' standards would be incredibly high. I also held no misguided notion I'd be able to live up to those standards—ever.

"This is getting too depressing," Joe stated firmly, brushing a lock of hair away from my face. "What do you say we stop by the bar and get a drink before we head upstairs for one last marathon of honeymoon sex. Maybe while we're at it, you should get something to eat too. You hardly touched your dinner."

That damn brain niggling thing was back. Since my revelation on Wednesday, I'd found myself subconsciously taking more and more precautions—like abstaining from alcohol—even though I knew I was NOT pregnant. Unfortunately, I'd also discovered that while I still felt well overall the slightest thought of eating a piece of meat completely gagged me. Obviously it hadn't gone unnoticed by Joe.

Nerves could surely get the best of a person. I'd managed to work myself up over NOTHING! I started thinking probably I should just go up and have a stupid beer with my husband and forget all this nonsense. Still I didn't want to take any more chances. If I were indeed pregnant, then I'd already had too much alcohol in the past few weeks.

Joe stood up with me in his arms and allowed me to slide down his body. "Ready?" he asked with a smile.

I couldn't do it. Acting quickly, I plastered myself to him and spoke breathily into his ear. "I don't want to waste time at the bar—not when I have on this amazingly sexy bra and panty set that you haven't seen yet. Probably you should take me upstairs and discover it. _Right now_."

The steam between us was instantly palpable. "Probably I should," Joe agreed in raspy voice. He tried to pull the bodice of my dress outward in order to take a peek, but I danced away.

"No cheating. Come on, I'll race you. But—" I held the last word tantalizingly.

"Yeah?" Joe reached out and clasped the fingers of my left hand.

"I don't want any assistance from toys tonight, Mr. Morelli. You excite me more than anything else that could possibly be in that bag. I want our last night here to just be you and me, okay? Make love to me by the sound of the waves, Joe—just like in my fantasy."

His eyes were intense as they met mine. "You'd better start running, Cupcake. Because when I catch you, you're going to be thoroughly ravished."

_On your mark, get set, go!_

* * *

><p>Joe jiggled the lock on the back of the house with his key and pushed the door open with his foot. Picking up our two suitcases, he went directly into the kitchen followed closely by me with my garment bag and a carry-on stuffed with souvenirs. It was well after Midnight on Saturday—technically Sunday—and we'd finally arrived home. I quickly set my things down onto the table and looked around.<p>

"I'll take these upstairs," Joe offered, nodding at the suitcases. "You're sure you're feeling okay now?"

"I'm fine. I keep telling you it was just a little air-sickness."

Joe looked doubtful, but headed up the stairs anyway. As soon as he was out of sight, I grabbed onto the table next to me and I closed my eyes against the fatigue and nausea that had been assaulting me all day. Somehow I had to get myself under control. Certainly it was worry causing me to feel lousy. After all, wasn't the mind supposedly the body's most powerful organ?

I walked over to the cupboard to see if we had any crackers and noticed the home phone was indicating several voice mail messages. Punching in the code to the system, I scanned the shelves while waiting patiently. _A-ha! Success! _I found a package of Ritz crackers and shoved two in my mouth while listening.

The first zillion messages were skip-worthy, but I paused to listen once the ones from today began:

"Hey Plum—oops—I mean Morelli! It's Saturday morning. Hope you had a total mag time on the honeymoon. I demand explicit details soon. Call me for lunch this week. Oh, and tell Joe thanks for the trip. Lenny and I had a blast!"

"Girl, ain't you home yet? I got things to tell you. Listen, Tank and me are moving in together for sure, so I definitely won't be needing your apartment. I'll let you know though if I hear of anyone else looking to stay with a bunch of old farts. Ha! Hey, you about worn out from all that sex yet? Damn, that husband of yours is _fine_! What—why can't I say that? Shee-it. Ms. fucking 'Emily Post' Rosolli here is trying to tell me I can't lust after your man no more. What does she know? She don't even have a man since her last loser skedaddled. Anyway, I'll talk to you Monday. Tell Detective Perma-grin it was one hell of a wedding. Thanks."

"Stephanie, it's your mother. Are you there? Weren't you supposed to be coming home today? Honestly, I can't keep anything straight. Have you heard the news? It's spreading through the Burg like wildfire. I'm worried about you and Joseph. Call me."

_Hunh? _I stood a little straighter.

"Dude, where are you? The shit's hitting the fan at your mother's house. You better hurry and get over there. The wedding was great and all, but this is fucking serious. Call me."

_Mooch?_

"Joseph, I need your help. Tony's been arrested again, and it's serious this time. Can you please call me? I don't care what time it is, okay? Oh, and it was a beautiful wedding, darling. You've found yourself the perfect wife in Stephanie."

_What the hell! Tony? _My throat tightened with emotion as I listened to my new mother-in-law's words—both the good and the bad. I also heard the tears in her voice.

"Stephanie, it's grandma. How were the toys? I expect an evaluation!" I could hear her cackling as she hung up.

"Joey? It's Tony. Call me—soon, all right? I got a little situation."

"Stephanie—Vinnie here. Just wanted you to know I've posted the bond for Morelli's brother. He's high risk to go FTA. Do whatever it takes to keep him from skipping. The bond's huge."

"End of new messages." The phone's perky automated voice notified me.

Mindlessly, I turned off the cordless and dropped it back into its cradle.

"Steph, come on. It's late. Let's go to bed." I hadn't even heard Joe make his way back down the stairs.

Turning to face him, I must have looked as dazed as I felt, because he was at my side in less than two seconds. "What's wrong?"

"Tony's been arrested again. I'm not sure for what, but there were messages on the machine from him, your mother and Mooch. Vinnie left one for me too, saying he posted the bond. I guess it's hefty."

"Fuck!" Joe slammed a fist down on top of the counter next to me. "That goddamned idiot!" He growled in frustration and turned away.

I felt terrible for him. "Your mother wants you call no matter what time."

Joe stuck his hands in his hair and turned in a circle. "Shit, this pisses me off!"

"I'm sorry." I honestly didn't know what else to say. "Maybe we should just head over there."

He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, trying to calm himself. "No. I'll go."

"Joe, don't shut me out."

"I'm not." His tone gentled. "We just got home; you're tired and you haven't felt well all day. Go to bed, Cupcake. I'll be back as soon as I can."

I _was_ tired, so there was no use fighting a losing battle. "Okay," I agreed. Joe pulled me into his arms and put his forehead next to mine. "I'm sorry, Steph. What a hell of a way to end our beautiful honeymoon."

"Don't be sorry. You can't help this. You need to go help your mom."

"Yeah," he sighed again. "I love you."

"Love you too."

He gave me a lingering kiss full of promise and regret and then, grabbing his car keys and jacket, went out the door and into the night.

"Welcome home," I whispered to an empty house.

The End

A/N – As I said in the beginning, this wasn't meant to be a super long story-just an interim to close some doors and open a few new ones. Thanks again for all of the comments, reviews and support along the way.

I'm going on vacation March 30 - through April 9, so I won't be able to start "It's About Truth" until I return. Be on the lookout for something at the end of that week perhaps—if you all are still interested that is. I hope so, because there are BIG questions to be answered! LOL

Take care everyone!


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